Once upon a time…
[ I love stories that start this way 😉 ] Two old friends were sitting on the front porch, putting the world to rights. They always meet up once a week to have a drink and just relax. It was a warm evening, late in autumn, the heat of the day had passed, but the breeze coming in from the sea was still warm, and the smells coming from the kitchen suggested that the evening meal was going to be as special as always. The house owner had his old dog out on the porch, asleep and dreaming. The old pouch was having a lovely time chasing rabbits, or sticks… his eyes flickering and the claws just catching the porch floor occasionally, idyllic, peaceful, calm. This scene was periodically shattered, by the dog, who would lift his head, every 20 or 30 minutes, and let out a terrible, mournful, howl. He sounded in such pain, trapped in his dream, but conscious enough to lift his head, and, moan… LOUDLY The dog's owner clearly used to these interruptions, never even flinched. His guest, on the other hand, was growing increasingly exacerbated. The noise was really getting to him, every time the dog howled, he jumped, spilled a little beer, and eventually, he gasped: “For Goodness sake WHAT IS WRONG with That Animal?” he shouted ( after what must have been the 8th or 9th banshee wail!)
The dog's owner grinned and gave the explanation. Well you see, that dog has always loved his naps on the porch. Every evening he would come out here and wait for me to come home from the office. That spot he is lying in gives him a great view of the road, keeps him out of the breeze, and gives him the warmth of the last rays of the day's sun. That is his spot, he has always laid his head right there. But over the years, as things do, the porch floor has worn, and under his head, there is a nail coming through. It digs in his chin, so, every so often, he just lifts his head and howls, just letting us know, …
The Friend looked at him and then at the dog, in simple disbelief… Surely if it hurts him he could simply get up and move! To which his friend replied … Well, I guess it doesn't hurt THAT much!
Every day of our lives we are faced with choices. Some of them are life-changing, for us. Some are life-changing for those around us. Changes are going to happen to us, whether we decide to move or not, and perhaps the big question is not are you a mover or a howler? But, are you an Action Taker?… Do YOU control your choices or are you someone, who life happens to… not, who life happens for …
Make Choices, Take Control
Look, life happens! Life will always happen. If we can take control of how we react or how we respond, we can control our outcomes. I see so many people worn down by life, feeling they cannot deal with the situations they find themselves in … I am sure, you will know people like this. Always moaning about how unfair life is, but not taking any responsibility. NOT taking the right decisions to move forward … Not actually taking any decision at all, just being blown around by the breeze! Life can be challenging at the best of times, but when we allow the impact of others to affect us, we can feel out of control.
So How Do We Become Movers?
I have found in life that I cannot control the crap that comes my way, however, I can control how I react or respond. Life will carry on happening, and on many occasions, it will bring us into contact with some truly undesirable things, and even more undesirable people … it is what it is … I have found though, that I can control my response. It is not always easy to do, but, it makes life far easier to manage… and in many ways completely changes our outcomes. I have not always been like this, and not so many years ago my moods swung around like a poppy in the breeze… It was exhausting honestly, every little challenge that came along would send me into another tailspin of angst and worry. A very good friend of mine, a lady called “Marie Santos ” Saved my Life in more ways than I care to admit, I met Marie when she joined the same online educational platform I was a member of, we worked fairly closely, all be it, I live in the UK and Marie is in Sydney, Australia. I helped Marie, and gave her the confidence to stick it out and work for the results she was truly looking for and in that time we learned to trust each other, and so she saw some of my anxious times.
There is a Book called Unsinkable by Sonia Ricotti … I do not want to overstress the importance of this book, however, I can safely assert that it has probably extended my life by at least 25%. I was worrying myself into an early grave. Marie Not Only bought me the book but bought and got me on a course with Sonia… I am eternally grateful, and, as I say, it probably saved my life. I was scenario man, I could envisage every possible scenario of any incident, see the worst possible outcome, make myself believe that it was going to develop exactly like that or even worse! Marie made me take control, and by working together she coached me out those scenarios. I was meeting trouble halfway and making sure that the worst that COULD happen Actually DID happen! Life became a self-fulfilling prophecy, I was actually creating my own bad luck if you will … seeing the darkest outcome that could manifest itself and, by focusing on that actually create the environment for those worst-case vibes to exist and grow.
The Facts and How I Feel About The Facts
That statement has now been tattooed, on my arm in case I ever forget. The facts are always pretty constant in any given scenario… Feelings vary according to perspective. If learn to focus on the facts, and try to filter out our own biased thinking, we are able to respond to new scenarios in a far more balanced way. I am constantly remembering these lessons, sometimes I forget…But the lesson is never far away. By being able to calmly and rationally react to circumstances as they present we can learn to master our environment. If we do not like the new environment, we can calmly asses the best way out of the situation and quietly make it happen. Now the howlers, see a situation, resent it, moan and wail about life being
- their lack of ability,
- blah blah blah
- Oh woe is me
- If only I had the right skill set I could really change this…
- Sits on floor
- SUCKS THUMB!
What Howlers fail to realise is that anything they are missing, that would help them to deal with the New Facts, as they show up, are learnable, transferable skills. First things first
- Do NOT overreact
- Breath stay calm
- Analyze the facts as they are, not as your overexcited mind sees them!
- Explore possible ways to respond, with potential outcomes
- Consult others who may have been in the situation
- Look at the alternatives
- TAKE MASSIVE ACTION
Nothing Happens Unless We Take Action
Taking action is always a great cure. It takes away the chance to worry, it stops you from procrastinating… Busy people get shit done they just do not have time to think that they cannot or that life is unfair or whatever else howlers howl about… ( In my experience Howlers will howl even when their future is looking bright and happy because they envisage it all going wrong and someone coming in and taking everything away from them! Guess what normally happens…. Yep the self-fulfilling prophecy kicks in and in comes the dark-cloaked stranger, to steal their happiness…
Stop Howling At Life
It is honestly too short. If you have any pain, in your current situation, move away from the source of the pain, deal with it. Howling about it, does NOT change anything and drains your energy, and makes you unpopular, and will eventually put you into a downward spiral … My dad told me once that half the people in the room Do NOT care about your problems … I said what about the other half Dad? His response shocked me, but over the years it has actually proved correct He said The Other Half are GLAD you have the problems .. BECAUSE: IT MEANS THEY DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM! Thank you for reading this short blog, if there has been anything you relate to and that has helped you, I am truly happy to have helped. If you would like to book a coaching call one on one Please contact me via the contacts page, or email Steve Greenhalgh and I will happy to schedule a call with you.
No Results Are Guaranteed. Individual Results Will Vary…The Training, products and business systems we provide are for educational purposes. The Testimonials here are real, however just because others have achieved a certain result, should not be taken or even implied that you will have the same result. There will some people who do make money and others who do not. Individual results will vary greatly but will be determined by effort, determination, hard work, and the ability to follow directions.
Steve Greenhalgh T/A BCM Marketing Ltd. 19 Main Street Worthington, Ashby-de-la-Zouch LE 65 1RQ
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